When Dumped, Get Drunk
by DarkAngel777
Summary: Kikyou dumps Inu.Miroku's solution-beer.They go to the big house. Sango and Kagome's community project bails them out.
1. When Dumped, Get Drunk

This is my first fanfic. Be nice! No flames please! Sadly I can't own the InuYasha series ::sniff:: enjoy! Chapter 1 : When Dumped, Get Drunk

"Damn, Miroku what went wrong?"

"I think she just got bored with you." His best friend replied concentrating on the road.

"After 2 years!"

"You gotta admit, she was out of your league."

"Yeah right! Where are we going anyways?" InuYasha asked just as Miroku pulled into the parking lot.

"This-poor-just-dumped- friend, is my favorite place to be." Miroku said dramatically.

"A bar?"

"Yup, after 8 drinks and a round from the stripers, you'll forget all about Kikyou."

4 hours later

"I still don't know why?" Inu said with words slurring together.

"I know, you're not that bad looking! Oh, hey does red mean stop?"

"I always thought red meant hot," InuYasha said as he turned to look out the window, but instead smacked his head against the glass. Miroku drove passed to red light, barely missing a honking car.

"Well, how rude are they?" Miroku said snobbishly to the car that honked.

"Tell me about it."

"Ok. Look at the world today. Girls yell if we touch their butts. Alls it means is you got a nice ass. If you ask them to get in bed with for only one night on the first date, they say 'I'm not some whore!'"

"You-you should run for president!" Inu said enthusiastically.

"I would make a good president wouldn't I?" Miroku said smugly.

"Hey, what's that?" Inu Yasha said turning around to point out the window.

"I think I'm supposed to pull over, or I should stop."

"Hey, he's got red lights. I guess it means stop." InuYasha stated.

"OK!" Miroku stomped on the brakes, making the car lurch forward. "Are the red lights still there?"

"Yeah."

"Didn't we- whoa!" The police car hit their bumper from the sudden stop.

"I think I'm gonna puke." Miroku remarked. He quickly sat up straight as he saw the cop approach. "Act cool." He said to InuYasha. The cop knocked on the window and Miroku rolled down the window.

"Is there a problem officer?" Miroku said as close to normal as possible.

"Well maybe. I followed you and noticed you swervin' a bit. Not to mention the red light incident and stopping abruptly causing me to hit your car making me mess up the front of my car." The officer said calmly.

"So?" InuYasha broke in.

"I need you both to breath into this." He held up a drunk test to Miroku's mouth. He took a deep breath and breathed into it. It turned to 4. (A/N: If you're a 4 and below and don't past the test you get arrested. But if you're a 5 and above you automatically go to jail.)

"Can you say the alphabet?" the officer said questionly.

"Duh! ABCDEGHIKMNOQUZ7." Miroku said simply.

"Are you drunk?"

"Me? No!"

"I think you are, sir." The officer said calmly.

"WE SWEAR TO DRUNK, WE'RE NOT GOD!" InuYasha shouted suddenly. There was an awkward moment of silence.

"Wait..." Miroku said slowly.

"Dammitt Miroku! I told you getting' drunk wasn't a good idea!" InuYasha screeched, "WAIT! That's not true!"

"I think you boys should come with me."

"Damn." Miroku and InuYasha said in usion.

Well that's it for now! Flame or praise as long as you review! Please send suggestions and whatnot! Bye! DarkAngel777


	2. In Rehab Today, Home Tommorrow

In "Rehab"...wait...

My sister, **_LadyDragonStar, _**is helping me write my story because I suck at this.-DarkAngel777

"Hey, Miroku" InuYasha whispered to Miroku, "Do you think she'll come today?"

"Yes InuYasha I think she'll come today." Miroku said sarcastically. He learned to give InuYasha high hopes to help his low self-esteem.

(Where do prisoners eat? If any of you lovely people know, please.....TELLLLLL MMEEEEE!!!!) A/N LadyDragonStar

InuYasha and Miroku were in a cafeteria thing talking quietly. InuYasha squirmed around in his seat looking at the visitor's door. "Hey, is that Kikyou?" he asked to no one. His happy meter bar went immediately down as he watched another stranger walk in with her.

"By the Gods, you're actually not lying!" Miroku said in awe.

"I told you, I told you!" InuYasha said excitedly like a kid on Christmas.

"Who's that hot chick with her?" Miroku asked, entranced.

"Who cares? Kikyou came! KIKYOU! OVER HERE!" InuYasha shouted, suddenly jumping up and waving his arms like a wild thing.

"InuYasha," Miroku said warning.

"Bugger off Miroku! KIKYOU!"

"InuYasha!"

"KIKYOU!"

"You look like you're drowning in air!" Miroku announced.

"I think that's Yuaki and Harou." Kagome pointed to a half embarrassed boy, with an overly excited guy jumping up and down like a caveman.

"..Yeah...they _do_ look desperate to get out, don't they?" Sango said sympathetically. "Oh boy..." they both sighed in unison. They walked over to them.

"Hey...Kikyou cut her hair and got weirder lookin'..." InuYasha calmed down and squinted to get a better look at Kikyou. "I....don't think that's her, InuYasha," Miroku stated. "Don't say that!" InuYasha shouted in anger. "I've waited two damn weeks for her to come n' visit me!" he continued, spitting on his friend.

"Don't be a sprinkler of emotions, geez," Miroku muttered angrily, wiping his face, "You _can say_ your emotions, _not spray them_."

"Sorry," InuYasha apologized hastily. "Look they're coming this way!" They watched as the two girls made their way towards them, ignoring the stares they were receiving. A guard stopped them and chatted a bit. One of the girls pointed to InuYasha and Miroku. The guard nodded and pointed at a separate door. Another guard walked up to the excited boys.

"Come with me, you have visitors." He said. The two stood up and followed him to another door next to the one that the girls went through. InuYasha and Miroku saw around 10 phone booth like things, like the ones in the movies. The two girls were on the other side of the glass. The guard indicated to two booths. Quietly, both took their seats and picked up a phone.

"Kikyou, what took you so long?" InuYasha said instantly.

"Kikyou?" Kagome repeated a little confused.

"And what's with the hair, Kikyou? You cut and made it poofy...er..."

"What?? My name is Kagome,"

"Kagome? What kinda name is that?"

"A _normal_ name for your information, InuYasha, unlike Kikyou, what kind of name is _balloon flower_, eh?"

"Feh, I knew you weren't her," InuYasha slumped in his seat. "Who are you, wench?"

"ARG!!! Kagome! Say it with me Ka-Go-Me!"

InuYasha sat in his chair, apparently annoyed by this stranger, as she repeated her name for the fifth time. "Who's the other girl?"

"My thoughts exactly!" Miroku said in his most charming voice.

"I _loathe you_ already." Sango stated with venom dripping in her voice.

"Well I _love_ you!" Miroku replied, laughing.

"Kagome, do we _have_ todo this?" Sango whined like a child.

"Yes Sango! No matter how much we hate them we're here to introduce them back into society." Kagome said in a matter of a fact voice. "All right, we have a proposition for you."

"And that would be?" Miroku said lazily.

"I'm getting to that!" Kagome snapped. She took a deep breath before continuing. "We can get you both out of jail." Miroku and InuYasha cheered from behind the glass. "But you have some tests you must pass."

"Like SAT's?" InuYasha asked.

"No, to see if you're safe enough to be part of society again." Kagome said calmly. "Sango and I are part of a community service called '_Help Us'_. We help other drug addicted people to quit and introduce them back into society. We raise money to bail people like you out and provide you with things to get back on track to a new start on life."

"So... are we gonna get out or what?" Inu asked impatiently.

"InuYasha! What he means is that, when are we to leave and how are we getting home?" Miroku said politely.

"Hold on a sec." Sango said and dove into her messenger bag and retrieved some important looking documents. She skimmed through them and her face crossed into a look of panic. Quickly, she motioned to Kagome and pointed to a section on the paper. Miroku and InuYasha watched in curiosity as her face fell as well. Kagome called the guard over and started talking to him. He shook his head which caused Kagome to stomp her foot. He shook his head again. Kagome took her seat and shakily picked up the phone.

"It seems as though you will be coming with us." Sango sighed miserably.

"Go get your stuff." Kagome said with false cheerness. InuYasha and Miroku exchanged glances and followed the guard out.

Miroku Inu

"We're leaving!" Miroku cheered as he threw his bookbag over his shoulder.

"I wander what they were so freaked out about?" InuYasha wondered aloud.

"Who cares? We're leaving with hot chicks taking us home!" Miroku laughed while waiting for InuYasha to catch up with him at the door. When Inu did, he put a hand on his shoulder. "Well my friend. We may have been here for only 2 weeks, but I'm glad to get goin'." He gave InuYasha a 'manly' one armed hug and walked out the door dramaticly. Kagome and Sango were waiting for them outside next to a mini stylish black SUV (A/N: is there such a thing? DA777)

"Get in." Sango growled.

im bored so im just gonna go. Thanks to ExDemon 4 my 1st review and im hopin for many more. O, and the line is were LDS stopped helping me. Ja ne!

DarkAngel777


	3. Highway to Hell

Highway to Hell

A/N This is Lady Dragon Star typing right now, he he!

InuYasha and Miroku stared out the mini SUV's window (and dear younger sister, I do think there is such thing) Grins plastered on their dirty faces. "Home, home, home, home, hhoooooommmeee!" they chanted in union bobbing up a down in excitement.

. "Hey, did it hurt?" Miroku asked Sango in the passenger seat. "Did what hurt?" She sneered. "You falling from heaven," Miroku grinned. "Shit...a pervert..." Kagome growled. "..." sango's face reddened in annoyance. "Aww...she's blushing..!" InuYasha cooed. "Make Kikyou do it! I could never make her blush as deep as Sango," InuYasha pronounced Sango's name wrong. "Sango you fucking retard!" Sango yelled. "And my name is KAGOME!!!!" Kagome yelled. Bu the two boys completely ignored them. "I saw your dad last night," Miroku giggled. "That sounded so gay." Sango whispered to Kagome. "I saw him stealing stars and putting them in your eyes," he continued. "I don't sparkle, and for your information, I'm cold hearted," Kagome growled, slamming the breaks, causing InuYasha and Miroku smashing their heads on the seats. "HA HA!" the two girls laughed, and continued driving, laughing madly.

(A/N: since when have I been dear little sister? It's usually fatso or big fat wench. Whatever. I'm writing now so, um. Deal with it if you don't like me.)

"Hey, this isn't the way home." InuYasha sneered to Kagome. "You were supposed to make that turn 2 streets ago."

"We are going home." Sango growled.

"No, you're going home. You past ours." Miroku said calmly, "Or is it that you want us with you...?" he trailed off causally. All of them gagged except for Miroku as Kagome pulled over and screeched to a stop.

"Listen," Kagome said in a calm but lethal voice, "You're living with us until the Partners think you're stable enough to be released back into society." InuYasha and Miroku looked at each other with blank expressions, and then roared with laughter.

"That was a good one!" Miroku said while wiping the tears from his eyes, "What are we, homicidal maniacs!?"

"Hey!" Johnny said who just happened to be walking by shouted in offense and walked off again.

"OK..." InuYasha said, "Now turn around and get us home." Sango sighed, irritated.

"Look, you're, sadly, living with us for ..." she gulped nervously. "A year." She shuddered as InuYasha winced, Kagome gagged, and Miroku had a silly little grin playing on his face.

A/N (Funny, Funny...now it's MY turn) Lady Dragon Star

"What!? A _year!?_" InuYasha shouted, slamming his fist into the seat. "Hey! We don't have a choice!" Kagome shot back. "Besides! We're pinning it all on _you!_" Sango yelled.

"It's your fault for drinking! Then going out to drive!"

"Hey! How were we supposed to know we weren't suppose to drink then drive!? We were too drunk to remember that rule!" InuYasha yelled back. "Come on, Miroku! Back me up here," InuYasha sharply elbowed Miroku in the ribs. "Ow," Miroku shook his head and glanced at InuYasha. "What did I do?" he asked, massaging his now bruised ribs. "EW...Kagome...he drooled on the seat..." Sango whined. "Oh, great, two perverts, who are apparently not house, trained," Kagome sighed once more. "Is that all you two do? Is whine whine whine, whine, whine, whine?" InuYasha complained. "Shut up you dog!" Kagome snapped. She pulled into the apartment parking lot. "We're here," The girls sighed. "What? We have to live in a nasty old apartment now?" InuYasha growled. "InuYasha, be nice, this is better than what was in rehab," Miroku whispered. "Feh," InuYasha crossed his arm, slinging his pack over his shoulder in the process.

(DA777 is now writing. And yes I think it was quite funny.)

"Hey, for your information these apartments are quite nice and some of them are almost as expensive as houses." Sango said in a matter-of- fact tone.

"But not your apartment now is it?" InuYasha sneered and opened the door and stepped out of the vehicle.

"You got to admit, he is right about that and you did sound a little nerdish." Kagome pointed out. Sango snorted and got out of the car. Kagome sighed and popped the trunk open and followed suit. Miroku smirked and got his bag out and followed his new roommates into the apartment building.

ENOUGH! I must read other fanfics! Thanks 4 the reviews!


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